Friday, September 24, 2010

Giving up...

Since when has it been okay to give up, especially on your family and especially in life.

I understand life can be hard and family can be difficult but what's the point of having these things if you just end up letting them go. There's a reason you're born into your family, there's a reason why you had a rough childhood, or had everything together.

Lately, I've just been seeing how a lot of people have been dropping their arms and saying "That's it. I'm done. I can't handle you (or this) anymore. I'm gone." What's the point of being someone's sister or someone's friend and not helping them? What's the point of being a parent and not taking responsibility for your actions and for your children?

We hear a lot that missions is anywhere but here. I believe that there is someone in your family who needs to be helped, who needs to be talked to, and who needs to be loved. What's the point of sitting around and watching them on their dangerous road if you just sit back and let them go down it? It's irresponsible. You might say but you don't know what I've been through or what my life has been like or how my children are. And, honestly, I don't. But you're that person's father, mother, sister, brother, friend, uncle, distant cousin on your father's side twice removed. If you see a need and you don't address it, you're just as off as the person you're letting live that way.

Don't take this as an invitation to hit everyone you know over the head with the Word or with their faults. No, sit down. Get to know them. Talk to them. Understand them. And don't judge them. It just adds more walls for the rest of us to climb over. There's more to this life than just letting someone else do it.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Lest we forget...

Life throws you a sharp curve. It's normal. Everyone has difficulties. Everyone has hardships sometimes in their jobs, marriages, or families. But for others, it seems more often than not right when they balance the scale, write the last check, and sit in their favorite chair to watch the sunset, the door sounds a knock and there's another issue, more trouble brewing. In those moments, we forget. We forget that ultimately the bills, the worries, the issues won't matter. We'll be gone in a blink. Quicker than a fly died. Faster than your beating heart. We're through. It's not going to matter. But, we forget and that becomes the way of life.

We forget who is above it all. We forget our provider. Our creator. Our Beloved. We forget. We focus on me, us, you, them but not Him. We become our biggest concern.

I've come to realize that God is good. That He is solid. That He protects. That He is there. That He remembers. That He knows all and still loves all. He gives everything to provide and yet we take and don't thank. We forget our God.

But, He never forgets you. And He knows the bills and the troubles. He provides and you go on living.

I live in uncertainty right now. I know nothing and I can do nothing. I'm jobless but I work. I'm homeless but I have a home. I apply for work but my phone remains silent. But God doesn't forget. He has provided for me in ways I couldn't dream up and in ways you won't understand.

I have never been more vulnerable to Him. I have never been more peaceful. I'm good because my God gots me (I know. It's not correct). Life is good because God has me. And the beautiful thing - I haven't worried once. And I thank God for His peace. When I say He is my Provider, He is my Provider. There is no one else who can take His place. God isn't trumpable. He is my Provider and He is nothing less. He is the best thing in my life. Life has hardships and uncertainties but God still has life. And He is still in control. But if He didn't have control, there wouldn't be a life.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Taking up the limelight

"There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow"
- Ecclesiastes 1:11.

Today in church, my pastor at Doxa has started a study on Ecclesiastes, a study on wisdom. The way he exampled it was great. I, personally, have become sick of the 1-2-3 step formulas to have a better relationship with everyone and their mom. Formulas don't work with a relationship or even with people. They can't possibly factor in human beings into their equations. Formulas and equations work great with numbers and reactions. But not with people, not in life. We're not that simple. And we're not that predictable. (Actually, thinking about it, many people are. :)

One of the things Jimmy said today opened my eyes. Have you ever been sitting with friends and they ask you what you want to be remembered for? What do you say? Usually, it takes me awhile to come up with something. Not because I don't have dreams or work to fulfill them, but because who am I to be remembered. Sure, my friends, family, and any else who'd apply would miss me if I died, but after these people died no one will carry on my name. And why should they? I think we have this weird obsession with how important we are. We elevate ourselves to some big position. We expect people to want to remember us or to be impacted by what we do. Many times we overlook other people because we're more important. I'm not saying to stop dreaming of ending sex trafficking or hungry. Definitely, go at it. Attack those monsters, but don't overlook other people while you do it.

Whenever I'm in the middle of these types of conversations, I always have the urge to say, "I don't care. I'll be with Jesus. Celebrating Him. As long as Christ is glorified by one thing I did, my name doesn't have to be known." But, I never have the courage to say it. Maybe because I don't want the crazed looks or the questions that follow. I wouldn't know how to answer them. I'm still trying to figure what I believe in this matter.

Think back to your ancestors. What's the name of your great grandparents? I don't even known mine. I know my family, especially my grandma Dukeman and my aunts, talk about them often. But I don't know them. It'll be that way with us someday. We're easily forgotten people. But that doesn't stop us from hoping we'll get the one line in the history book.

Honestly, my legacy doesn't matter. In the whole scheme of things, I'll just be another rotting corpse in the ground. I don't want to be remembered or praised.

Whatever I do, may it be for the glory of God. I'd rather have God glorified 30 more years than me taking up the limelight.

Friday, September 17, 2010

This limiting fear...

How limiting is your fear?

Fear can be defined in two ways by The first way is to be afraid or frightened of something which is usually danger. The second way is to be uneasy or apprehensive about something causing fear to rise up in your mind, body or spirit.

When I usually think of fear, I think of physically being shaken by a people, an event, etc. But fear is more complex than how I look at it. But there is a different type of fear than what I immediately think of.

It's the fear that keeps you locked where you. It could be the fear of rejection which leads to no close relationships. It could be the fear of being abandoned so you cling to anyone who gives you the time of day. Fear can do so much to us, but the biggest thing it does is stop us. It removes our dreams and aspirations. We no longer dream. We no longer try in life. We just exist.

What are your fears? How are they stopping you? How can you deal with them?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Without a shepherd...

...After I read Hosea, I realized the master storyteller is the Almighty. Who can craft words better than He? He just gives us the ability to do what He has always been able to do. In that I find peace because I've realized I can't write without him and writing has become more than something I do, it's a piece of me...

...This came after I read Hosea 4 and 5...

Open your eyes all you people
Open them wide
see what you do to me
see the ruin that has become of you.
No longer are you thick and sweet.
No longer do your words sound clear.

Open your eyes all you people
open them wide.
Look upon yourself
for this is what I see.

Your garments fall from your bones,
stench as thick as garbage rolls from your skin.
Where have you been my child?
What have you done?
Look o'child
this is what I see.

All skin, all bone
Where has your meat gone?
Where is your bread?

Israel had gotten to a place in their sin where everyone was doing it and no one cared. Even the priests did the things. Instead of leading the people, they became followers themselves.

If leaders let the flock move them, they become the sheep too.
But the shepherd steps out and weighs the land and the danger to determine how to protect his sheep.
Because without the shepherd, the sheep walk into the wolves' mouths.

Sunday, September 12, 2010


How much longer will God have to remind us about who He is?

How much longer will He show His face to us?

How long will He pursue after us when we walk down dark paths filled with our own pleasures?

How can we stand to break His heart any further?

He never stops wanting you.

He never stops reminding you who He is.

He is the most patient Being. He has to be with people like us. We put the definition in "bouncy."

How much longer are you willing to break His heart?

*Don't wait until He walks away to wish He was still there.*

After studying the book of Hosea, this sprung in my spirit. How much longer will you make Him wait for you?