Monday, February 15, 2010

This sweet surprise

I'm an RA at ORU. It's been a great experience...definitely! :)

But, honestly, there are times where I wish I hadn't signed up. There are numerous things people would be surprised we have to do. The one I've come to not enjoy is confrontation.

You ORU we have a dresscode and it's the RA's job to address any girl who isn't in dresscode. I've had my fair share of mind blogging experiences, but I've never had a girl come up to me and apologize for the way she acted.

I'm sitting desk (another job of RAs :) and this girl who I had tried to confront about dresscode a week or so ago come up and apologized. She just said she was happy I was sitting desk here tonight because she's been feeling terrible for lying to me.

It's these times that I enjoying being an RA. Sure, it can be challenging, mind blogging, and completely sweet at the same time. Tonight's the reason I do what I do, because God worked on her heart. It was a gentle surprise that I enjoyed. I hope you see God smiling on you today. How horrible to go through a day and not see it as a matter how bad...or good. :)


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

This precious promise

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises.... For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.... Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall" - 2 Peter 1:3-4,8,10

Thursday, February 4, 2010

This passion

I'm sitting here realizing I don't know what my passion is. I'm a senior in college. I'll be graduating in May. I used to have a passion. I used to write with my entire being. Writing consumed my life. I poured everything into it. I studied. I laughed, cried, and bled writing. I'm a print journalism major, but I've come to realize that I don't even like it.

It's come to the point that the things that intrigued me about my talent and my ability to understand what people needed in media just sickens me. To think that I'm going to be leaving ORU soon with loans for a major that I've come to not enjoy is startling.

I'm not someone who picks up one thing, uses it up, and then dumps it when she's finished with it. I drain the life out of it. I allow that passion to drain the life out of me. And maybe that's where I've come. I've drained myself dry. I know that God allows seasons to come into life all the time, but this is crazy. I'm in my last semester.

As I started writing this, one of the girls on my floor came into my room and I told her this unbelievable revelation that I have been experiencing. I explained that I don't like the process of getting everything together for a story. I love talking to people. I love informing. It's just not my passion. As I was explaining to her how I was feeling. She asked me a question.

What makes you angry?

I spoke before I even thought it through. The cause of abused children makes me angry. The fact that parents, family members, friends, and complete strangers take advantage of them emotionally, verbally, physically, and sexually makes my face blotch and my blood boil. It may have something to do with my personal experience with abuse. Thankfully I've been blessed and protected from the worst, but I know the impact that kind of imprisonment can have on an individual, and it's not pretty.

I realized that what I want to do I haven't even heard of. I know graduating with a print journalism major is what I'm supposed to do. God made that SUPER clear. It's just I don't see the roads connecting. I feel like I'm off skipping in some meadow, forgetting life.

Honestly, I want to be involved in missions. I want to get involved with various organizations. I want to do what they do, walk in their shoes, talk to the people they help, sit down and talk to the minds that kept the organization running and than I want to walk away with the information. I want to return and tell the people who support them the things that I discovered. As the girl said, review that organization. I've always heard people say "well, I don't know if I can support that charity/organization/church because I don't know if I can trust them with my time/money/children/whatever."

And to me, that's sad. It's sad, but it's so true. And this is where I've fallen. I thought I was walking from these 3 1/2 years of an extremely wintry time in my life, but I'm still trying to figure out the snowshoes I have on.

It's annoying. Irritating. And it feels really good to get all this bottled up crap off my chest.